It's probably not the notebook battery.
Southern Cross Computer Systems (the slackest bunch of people I've come across outside Telstra BigPond) were supposed to pick up my notebook on Monday but didn't, so I dropped it in to them on Tuesday. Then they were supposed to call me on either Wednesday or Thursday to tell me how long the thing was going to take, but they didn't.
I called them yesterday afternoon, to find that (surprise!) they'd all already gone home. I left a fairly terse message and finally received a call this morning. Not that they were at all apologetic, note.
It appears as if the notebook's motherboard has blown up. Is this a common fault? No, of course not. The fact that they're out of stock on replacement boards and that they've cannibalized every demo and testing machine they have to find replacement parts must just be a coincidence.
So... when can I have it back? Two weeks, maybe.
Yep, that's right. I have no work computer. I don't have access to my calendar, or my documents, or anything else I need to do my work. I sort-of have access to email, but even that's via the extremely clunky web interface or IMAP (sloooowwww).